OUTSPOKEN: Divas Are Not Bratty And Self Obsessive, Adeyanju Pinheiro Tells Us Why.
In our society, the word “Diva” is given negative connotations, bringing to mind the bratty, self-obsessive, conceited and rather uppity lady who insists on always having things her way and being glorified at the expense of others.
Divas are women who have some serious life experience behind them. They don’t take crap off people and are never hesitant to blaze a trail into the wilderness when necessary.
Divas are enormously secure in who they are, what they have to offer in this life and where ever they are going and will march there confidently. They are in strong connection to themselves, their spirituality and their place in the world. Always insatiable in their quest for personal understanding and greater wisdom. They are able to access hidden truths like treasures under rocks, pushing and turning until the right connection is made and the smartness flows and don’t ever contradict her when she’s working in that mode.
They are well capable of maintaining glorious romances and loving relationships with spouses or partners. Most generally, relationships are not of the “desperate” variety, where she needs to be “completely” or requires the presence of a partner to make her whole. A Diva is whole under herself and if she is with someone, it is because she chooses to be; not because she has to be. Divas are passionate, seductive and sexually confident.
Diva friendships are deep and abiding, usually with one or two particularly tight bonds and several additional pals in their realm of influence. They seldom require validation of themselves from others in order to have a good sense of self and quality self esteem, but occasionally, they enjoy a good talk session with their closest confidants as they are always comfortable with and grateful for compliments.
The bonds they form with friends and partners are very close, a diva old enough and experienced enough to have dealt with death in a few ways, not just the physical death of others, but the death of friendships, marriages and dreams. They do understand that the people and situations in our life, both precious and challenging, are transient.
They do not suffer fools lightly and are impatient with manipulators, users, slackers and phonies. You won’t see a diva with a partner who doesn’t pull his/her own weight or who is less than respectful on an ongoing basis.
These set of females are positively brilliant in the art of revenge; however, they also know exactly how to pick their battles because they are strong, independent, pro-active women. People listen when they speak, love them for their fiery, bold spirits and respect the way they carry themselves in the world. A Diva loves to express herself dynamically, just as likely to be seen in a business suit and pumps as she is in a top hat or a tiara.
She has walked back through her past, made friends with the skeletons in her closet and focused a bright light on the darkest corners. Ghosts from the past no longer come for her in the night. She looks forward to the future with the quiet pleasure of one who is assured that whatever befalls her is propelling her inevitably and unerringly toward her own greatest good. Her faith is immense and often is the rock on which the others around her stand during difficult times. It is hard to shake her into tears of fear or frustration or hurt, but when it happens, it’s with a gale force and she’ll work it and work it and work it until she finds the answer within herself and masters the situation.
When a Diva cries, it is more likely from something that has touched her heart in a purely profound way. For both of these reasons, Divas often are very protective of their time alone to think, meditate and sort through their own responses and conclusions. While a Diva may have resolved her past and made peace with whatever is to be in the future, her focus is primarily on the present, moment by moment, as it unfolds in front of her. If she could freeze frame every moment and study it, preserving it in her heart, she would because that is how precious her “now” is to her.
She seeks out the miracles, from the tiniest to the grandest and is grateful to the Divine for each and every one in her day. Her capacity for joy is seemingly endless and she finds it everywhere: in a book she’s reading, a gift she receives, a hug from a loved one, a joke that gives her a good belly laugh, a delightful meal… there is no end to the places from which she can harvest joy and delight into her life. She laughs loudly and appreciatively and the lines on her face reflect her many smiles.
The Diva speaks her mind confidently, unapologetically and without pretense. Never ask for her opinion or her advice unless you really want to hear it unfrosted and straight from the hip. She is invariably honest and unwaveringly direct. The Diva is, overall, a private person and there are some parts of her life and her heart that are off limits to others in her life. Even though she is so direct and truthful, she is always a bit of a mystery to those who love her. Neither she nor they would have it any other way.
You can not be complete without a diva around either as a mother, sister, wife, fiancée, mentor, role model or queen.
Writer: Deyanju’s quest to know what makes people tick, birthed her passion and pursue in journalism. She stands out for her technical ability in writing and generating top notch articles. Deyanju as a Nigerian consistently gives an analytical mind and critical eye to activities and events around her. Out of work, she is an out-spoken and lively person who enjoys traveling, meeting people and playing scrabble. She is always looking for new challenges – most recently learning Spanish.
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