All The Single Ladies!
When Someone Who Loves You Suddenly Doesn’t Anymore
I slept late last night, which is nothing new. I sleep late every night. Last night however, was different. Let me explain.
The past few months have been terribly sad for me. I smiled a lot during the day. At night, I wake up coughing only to realize I’m choking on my own spit. I’d been crying hence the reason for all the spit in my mouth. (I know! Disgusting) then I ask myself what the reason for the crying is and I come to the conclusion that I’m very unhappy. Contrary to what we all know and have been taught, I have placed a lot of my happiness and well being in the hands of others. I had been happy because certain people were in my life. Now they’re gone. How in the world did I ever think we would be friends forever?
The say people enter your life for reason or season and er… what’s the other one again? Well whatever. You’re supposed to just roll with the punches when they walk out on you regardless of what you feel. I’ve always wondered how someone who says they love you can suddenly not love you anymore. How easy it is to take all the affection they showered on you and pour it in buckets on someone else. The painful part is watching it happen and knowing without a doubt that you’ve been shut out completely. You’d like to complain but what good would it do? You’re out and you’re out. You find yourself being miserable all the time. But if you’re like me, then you have that smile that masks everything. Lucky me.
You smile when you see them down the street in your local drugstore knowing full well that they won’t stop over to say hello. You smile when they say hello to you like an ordinary acquaintance, as if you were never close. You even smile when you see their profile updates on facebook or that dreadful device people “ping” on nowadays.( Topic: Social media as a torture tool). You smile till it hurts to smile and then you pray that night comes so you can sleep and hope that when morning comes you’ll be closer to not giving a hoot about them. They’ve gone on to live their lives so why shouldn’t I? If only it were that easy.
On my way out of the office yesterday, I got a ride from a friend of mine. He somehow noticed that my smile was a mask. He took a peek underneath. I poured everything out. Gosh! It felt good to let go. The worst kind of pain is the one you can’t talk to anyone about. That burden you bear all on your own. It’s like a cancer with all its glorified stages. It eats you up slowly. Talking about it helped I didn’t even cry.
This morning I woke up feeling different. I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night again. I slept like a baby. No choking. I woke up feeling like a change has come. I still remember but I don’t mind anymore. It feels like things will get better. Soon I might just not remember any of this ever happened and all will be well again. Somewhere inside I still hurt. It’s natural, I tell myself. Soon I’ll feel nothing. I’m going to be happy again
Dear reader, I know what you’re dying to ask. Am I a woman? Yes. I’m a very tired woman. Is all this jargon about a man? …but of course it’s about a man. Ok, you say. Did he leave you for another woman after telling you he loved you? If you skipped the first three paragraphs you wouldn’t ask that. (Climb back up the page will you!). Did you love him? My answer would have to be “Very much”.
Writer: Nina likes to write. She loves to read and has great love for gadgets. She lives and works in the FCT.
<—- thanks for reading this, please share it before you go.
Bassey AliceSep 6, 2012 at 11:12 am
share in the same feeling, but there's nothing as good as moving on even wen its cuts you to pieces. I wouldn't dare say am feeling pain , I feel a whole lot better without any man and the memory of what he did or was is past gone, falling in love is good but falling outta love isn't easy. I guess you just have to stand outside and feel the breeze which promises of better days ahead.
Michelle Lynn BridgesOct 15, 2012 at 6:08 pm
Something similar just happened to me. I like when she says that the Pain is something you can't talk about with anyone…"that it's a burden you must carry alone." And being forced to internalize pain is unbearable and it is also like a Cancer. And, the Cancer the writer speaks of, does Have "Glorified Stages because it Gets much worse before it ever gets better. My Pain will take Months to subside and trying to recapture the Ambition and the Zest for Life that being around Her made me feel will, now, be next to impossible. And, I had so many plans. But, now, only time and bathing in tears will allow me to chip away at my goals one by one. It is the Most Agonizing feeling! I sent Her a sweet Private Facebook Message. That, believe it or not, is what did me in. I knew it was a Mistake but I clicked send before I could stop myself! They should have a way for you to retrieve your message before the other person reads it! It's Her or/His Page, but it is your message…I imagined a future with Her and it was Magical. What's worse, is I believed it would Happen eventually. Instead, I've been thrown into the Bowels of Hell, with my Head Spinning and my Heart reeling…
Halimat FrarinJan 24, 2013 at 4:55 am
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THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.
1. open a liberty reserve account at http://www.libertyreserve.com ( this is free).
2. Open a perfect money account at http://www.perfectmoney.com (this is free).
3. Fund your liberty reserve account with a minimum of 11 USD, because of transaction charges, actually you needed a minimum of 10 USD.
(Note: To fund or sell your liberty reserve, go to http://www.google.com to search for an e-currency exchanger close to you.)
4. Go to http://www.rapid-goldex.com , and exchange 10 USD from your liberty reserve account to your perfect money account.
1 LR——>1.28 PM, so 10 LR—-> 12.80 PM.
5. Go to http://www.superchange.ru or http://www.swapgold.com , exchange 12.80 Perfect money to 11.01liberty reserve.
1 PM —-> 0.86 LR, so 12.80 PM—>11.01 LR. You have gain 1.01 USD.
6. Repeat the exchange process from LR—->PM—>LR.
You can always increase your capital, because the more money you exchange the faster u make your cash. I can make up to 257 USD per day. Doing up to 25 exchanges per hour. But there is also no harm in starting small.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
AnonymousApr 26, 2013 at 4:00 am
wow…..i just break up with my lover last month…dunno how to heal it..its so difficult for me to not think about him! I feel depressed all the time even when I'm working…im crying every night. what can I do…the reason he leave me because he said always doubt him…just like that…i love him so much..so much…what I can do? haih!