It’s Alright To Fail …..

Posted on 21. Aug, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Highlights

I am absolutely in love with the story told so passionately by Martina McBride in her song   - A Broken Wing, the message is so deep and has an unforgettable hold on the mind.

It’s an amazing comeback story and an inspiration to those who like me sometimes feel trapped in a chicken’s skin, flapping when they ought to be soaring. And after a long, hard try want to give up, go curl up, have a deep sleep and wish it will all be gone by daybreak.

Truth be told, many times we really do mess up , and so we get knocked down, knocked out and caged by the monsters we have created.

History banks stories of great falls – men and women who failed to plan, who consulted their greed, who embraced indiscipline, who moved with the wrong company, and who despised good judgment. People who had it all and lost it all.

Sometimes the meltdown comes perceptibly, day by day we notice deterioration and the gradual downward twist, and yet we do not make haste to get a grip before it crashes. We cuddle what we once denounced, we query what we once deemed, and we obliterate our boundaries. We find a home in the fleeting pleasures of self destroying indulgence, where there is neither white nor black, hot nor cold, here nor there.

We smell a rat and yet do not set a trap; we hear a roar and fail to position our guns. We see the rising tide and fail to stack the sandbags, so like a bully that has been dared, it comes in with an unforgiving swiftness, washing away our most precious possessions.

Failure could also come out of the blue, changing all that we have known in an instant. Not necessarily because we messed up but because no matter how hard we try, life sometimes try our elastic limits by pushing us to the dead end of a cliff.  It hopes that like humpty dumpty we will have a great fall, shatter into a million pieces and never get our acts together again.

So a good marriage hits the rocks, a child comes out of wedlock,  a million dollars business idea fails, cancer raises its head, death snatches a loved one,  access to a dreamland is denied,  and blah, blah, blah

J.K Rowling must know how it feels to be at the edge of the cliff. After years of a stormy marriage she became a divorced, unemployed, single and struggling mother living on public assistance program.  She had failed attempts at a successful writing career; she battled with fits of clinical depression, contemplated suicide, and had to face other life challenges that were determined to keep her bound in obscurity.

Life then gave her another chance, she found inspiration in the most unlikely place – on a wobbly bus ride home and motivation even in her grieve. She dared to dream again, spreading out her broken wings, fly she did fly! From the depths of woe to the peak of wow, and to the world’s amazement came the unmatched Harry Porter series!

As long as we have a genuine desire for change and work hard towards it , there sure will be a second chance, a third, a forth, a fifth, a sixth and even a seventh!

Whatever the setback has been, self-made, others-made or life-made, it’s time to pick up the message in the mess, ignore those who feast on others distresses, pack the shame, frustration and guilt in a box, tape it tight around all its edges and fling it into a garbage can where it belongs. Don’t wait till when you can turn the whole 180 degrees at once to make a change, you can start by taking the first conscious, calculated and consistent step in the right direction, believing that tides do turn and things do change for sure.

Ultimately, it’s not those who fell that are down and out, it’s those who fell, stayed down and allowed others to trample on them. They are the real losers.

Here is an inspiring video of Derek Redmond, a man who refused to give up. It is dedicated to all those who feel down today. Its a must watch!

photo credit – Karin Dreyer

Writer  – Shola Okubote

Do Not Pass Me By!

Posted on 01. Aug, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Believe!

It’s hard not knowing what’s going to happen next when things are apparently perfectly lined up for everyone else around you. I hadn’t heard this song in ages so when I unexpectedly heard it on the radio the other day, it really got to me. The lyrics, particularly the chorus captured everything I was feeling but didn’t know how to put into words. It was like finding the perfect prayer for right now. So I’m putting this up for anyone who is also at a challenging moment in their life and needs a prayer to get through.

Lyrics

Writer: CultureSoup

Image: G.I

A Mystery Jigsaw & God’s Grand Design

Posted on 10. Jul, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Essence

A total of 22 hours over 5 days spent on a jigsaw puzzle really does not seem like a good use of anyone’s time. But that’s mostly what I did between Christmas and New Year.

‘Drama at the Opera’ was a Christmas present from last year. However, I had an extremely busy year, so I decided to work on the 1,000 piece puzzle over the Christmas period. It literally left me with little time for anything else. A typical day has been – wake up at 11:30am; jigsaw, food and TV until 7:00pm ish; socialise/party until 2am; jigsaw till 6:00am; sleep until 11:30am.

So it was imperative that I could justify those precious hours spent on a jigsaw puzzle of all things.

But as I put the pieces together, I also began to see loads of parallels between my puzzle and God’s grand design. 10 lessons emerged from this process and related to a number of scriptures I already knew. I would like to share these 10 principles with you.

I won’t list the scriptures as there are literally 100s of verses I could use, but I pray that you see God’s grand design for humanity and specifically for your life as you read through.

Remember, that whilst you list your New Year resolutions, goals and missions. God is poring over the jigsaw of life. He cares for each piece, He is never late, He knows what is best for you and has the whole host of heaven, Jesus and the Holy Spirit working tirelessly to ensure that everything works out for your good according to His divine purpose.

Enjoy!.

Ten lessons from my jigsaw puzzle

1. Each piece was equally important – from the first piece on the table, to the last piece used, I knew that each piece mattered. Even if I didn’t need it on day one, I would certainly need it sometime.

2. Each piece was unique – A number of pieces were similar in shape or colour, but when it came to completing the puzzle. Only one piece was perfect for a specific position.

3. Each piece had a particular role to play – The jigsaw told a story and each piece was part of that story. There was no story if there were no pieces.

4. Each piece played a key role in determining the place of other pieces – I put a piece down, and suddenly I knew where four other pieces fitted in.

5. Each piece was required – A few pieces did not seem to make sense. I could not immediately see how they fitted. I did not discard them, I knew I would need them sometime.

6. Each piece was irreplaceable – even the white pieces with no obvious background or detail had value.

7. Even if only a single piece was missing, the jigsaw was not complete; didn’t matter that I had 999 pieces in place – actually I have 3 pieces missing, and I have spent 3 hours looking for them. In my mind the jigsaw puzzle is incomplete and will remain on the table until I find those three pieces.

8. Each piece had my complete focus – when I picked up a piece to determine its position, it had my complete focus. I had the big picture in my head, but that piece at that time made up my entire concentration.

9. Each piece was part of a bigger important design – I slept most mornings, visualizing the puzzle in my head, woke up thinking about it, knowing that it had to be completed or it should not have been started in the first place.

10. It was good – I experienced a strong satisfaction in knowing that I put every piece in its right position and that the finished design was what I started out to achieve. I took pleasure in it. It was finished and it was good.

May God complete His good work in you.

Last words: A plea: please do not buy me a jigsaw puzzle under any circumstances. 22 hours is a lot of hours; I know; I currently have bills pending, no cooked food, no shopping. Nada!.

Writer: Keno Ogbo

Photo Credit: Jupiterimages

A Heart-Breaking Event Turns A Divine Opportunity!!!!

Posted on 17. May, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Believe!, TEsTiMoniEs

A few hours ago, exactly 6.27pm- I boarded a train from Reading heading home to Bristol. I got a nice seat, settled down and continued reading a book by one of my favourite authors- John C. Maxwell. About 40 minutes later, the train arrived at Swindon to drop off and pick up new passengers. I was deeply engrossed reading the book but was soon distracted by the voice of a woman trying to get on the train and talking or should I say nagging her husband.

They seemed to have had their hands full- there was a buggy and a cot-looking thing with their remarkably cute baby in it (he couldn’t have been older than 4months) and were struggling a bit. Not quite sure what had happened- but she kept on talking harshly to him and said many things- the one that jumped at me: “Oh, you are such a loser!” The moment I heard her say that- my heart broke! and all the stuff I knew, read, and heard from the countless single and marriage seminars I had attended came flooding through my mind. You don’t speak to a man like that- you are literally crushing his ego- ripping his heart apart- blablabla.

I couldn’t tell where the couple came from- they looked like they were from the Middle East or Egypt, Turkey or something like that…I just couldn’t tell. All I knew was they were Muslims – cos I heard her say his name- Mohammed! But they seemed to be the sort that were born and bred in the UK. Anyway, it seemed they would have to walk far into the cabin to get a seat- and she was becoming more aggravated with her husband- so I offered them my seat as I was closer to the door. She didn’t accept and her husband finally convinced them to get a seat with more space nearby. Well, she still managed to tell him off for folding the cot….he should have left it unfolded….blablabla. And I thought to myself- Kai! Women sometimes just don’t know when to shut up! She definitely was the nagging woman described in Proverbs.

As the journey continued- I wondered if she knew all she was doing was bound to have a negative effect on her relationship with her husband and her marriage– I wondered if I could tell her….and then I felt inspired to write her a note to say just exactly that! Yep- I know- you are thinking….What?!?! Girlfriend- are you serious?!?!
Well….I know how HE speaks to me and I just couldn’t deny it was HIM, so I got my little note pad out and started writing……(letter is below- in pictures).

I told her how I thought her saying such things to her husband would affect his ego and then added “…if you say it continuously- he might just end up being one- a loser- which is not good for him, you or the family!!!”
I wrote a few more lines and thought to end with….”and oh, I am a Christian so I will be praying for you!!! I am sure God loves you!”

No later than 10minutes- the train began to slow down- it was arriving at Bath Spa; her husband got up so I figured it was their stop. She was going to walk past me anyway- so I thought to give her the letter then. I did and she was a bit taken aback and whilst I was hoping she would just walk past- she didn’t- well, she couldn’t- as there were a few people in front of her and the train was just pulling on to the platform. With the baby in her hand- she proceeded to read the letter and I said- Oh no, please don’t- you can read it later…she insisted and started reading and oh my God, was I scared?!?!
I know I am a bit of a risk-taker but wondered if this was pushing it too far! I sat moving slightly away from her as she was standing over me- just hoping and praying to God she won’t just land a slap of my face to ask me what my business was.

She didn’t! As she made the move to step out of the train- she shook my hands, touched my shoulder and said- “Thank you very much. That meant a lot!”
Phew!!!!! Now I could breathe again- seeing I had been holding my breathe as she read it.

As the train pulled off from the platform, I observed the couple try and get the baby back in the buggy whilst she gave him stuff to hold as she put the letter in her pocket. At this point, tears welled up in my eyes. Just seeing her different attitude to her man brought me to tears.

I couldn’t read my book anymore- I was too overwhelmed. And then the Eureka moment- I remembered praying to God this morning during my quiet time and asking him to make me a blessing to someone today. And then it occurred to me- God heard it…and He answered….with an opportunity!!!

I got to Bristol 20minutes later and got on a bus heading home. As I got out- I noticed my BB red light blinking- there was a message….an SMS…..it was from- yep- you know who!!! Her! The lady i just met on the train!
It read: “Thank you sister. I’m ashamed of myself for my anger. No matter what are the reasons I shouldn’t say any of this. I love my husband and I wish I can rewind back time and erase what I said. Pls pray 4 me. Thank u again. Aliya”

At this point- I started crying…as in, proper crying. Oh my God….all I could think of what impact this would make on her relationship with her husband. I believed the best….imagining her keeping that letter forever! Did she just say pray for me?!?!. She is a Muslim and I wrote clearly that I am a Christian!!!!
I had to pull myself to one corner and sort myself out and continue my journey.

As I walked around Tesco, trying to grab a few things for dinner- I thought to myself- This is MINISTRY- making a difference in people’s lives!!! Yes, Ministry- NOT LIMITED to preaching with a microphone, standing on a pulpit, having a crusade or starting a “Jesus is the way, the truth and the life” church!!!!!

This surely is what we have ALL been called to do!
Need I say more?!?! Guess not- I hope we all get the message.
God gives us opportunities- countless ones daily to make a difference!

Words of caution: I write this not as someone who has attained- or someone who walks perfectly in this- but as one who is trusting God for Grace to reach out to the hurting, hopeless, discouraged, dying, unsaved people in our world! Would you ask him for the same Grace?
….I need to add that He will give the grace….He will bring the opportunities….just make sure you DO IT!

*** Too whom much is given, much is expected!***
PS: Please feel free to share on your profile with your friends on FB if you want to- just simply click the share button.

Writer – Temitope Olonilua is a passionate person who loves people,  shopping and  helping people look good. She runs Teeloni’s, an outfit that is into Personal Shopping, Image Styling, Gift Services and Special Events – www.teeloni.com

Photo Credit – Stockbyte

Keep The Dream Alive Don’t Let It Die

Posted on 09. Dec, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Believe!

It one of my favorite songs of all times, it has been a wall against rising tides of depression and offered me hope in times of discouragement. This morning I felt I should share it with you.

Never Give Up By Yolanda Adams  -  Click Here To Listen

Visions that can change the world trapped inside an ordinary girl
She looks just like me too afraid to dream out loud
And though it’s simple your idea, it won’t make sense to everybody
You need courage now If you’re gonna persevere
To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds

Keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you
Don’t give up
Every victory comes in time, work today to change tomorrow
It gets easier, who’s to say that you can’t fly
Every step you take you get, closer to your destination
You can feel it now, don’t you know you’re almost there?
To fulfill divine purpose, you gotta answer when you’re called
So don’t be afraid to face the world against all odds

Keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside keeps inspiring you to try, don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you
Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you’re gotta keep the faith, bring what’s deep inside your heart
to the light
And never give up Don’t ever give up on you

Who holds the pieces to complete the puzzle?
The answer that can solve a mystery
The key that can unlock your understanding
It’s all inside of you, you have everything you need yeahhhh

Sooooo, keep the dream alive don’t let it die
If something deep inside, keeps inspiring you to try don’t stop
And never give up, don’t ever give up on you

Sometimes life can place a stumbling block in your way
But you’re gotta keep the faith, bring what’s deep inside your heart yeah your
heart to the light
And never give up Don’t ever give up on you

Nooo don’t give up,
No, no, no, no don’t give up
Oh, no, no, no, no don’t…give…up

OUR FAULTS – OTHERS' DOING

Posted on 15. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Believe!

Imagine this:
You leave your apartment in the morning for a trip downtown. You are wearing your most fashionable outfit, favorite perfume, you are looking like a billion dollars and you go to catch a bus. As you hurry out through your back door, you pick a small sack of garbage in the kitchen with the intention of tossing it in the rubbish container on the road on your way to catch your bus. But you get so preoccupied with your thoughts and forget to toss the garbage. So you carry it along with your other packages onto the bus.
As you take your seat, you percieve this terrible stench. You opened the window, to no avail. Later, through out the day, you notice this stench is in every store you visited.
As human, forgetting about the garbage, we would have concluded……… The whole world stinks! chei.
Only to return home and open your packages, and realize you are the chief supplier of the worlds’ stench.
Summary: Before you begin to point that your ever correct finger at other people, it would be smart to check out your own packages first. The ‘stink’ you smell may not be from others – it may be your own!
Jesus had this to say about judging other people: “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment.
That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging (Matthew 7:1-2), Jesus was right.
Always and always make sure you have taken out your stinking garbage first before you begin to criticize the garbage of those around you.

Writer- Tunbosun Oke

Interview With God

Posted on 19. Oct, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Believe!

“So you would like to Interview me?” God asked. “If you have the time.” I said. God smiled. “My time is eternity, what questions do you have in mind for me?”

I asked;

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God Answered;

“That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, Such that they live in neither the present nor the future”

“That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for awhile.

And then I asked again;

“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

God Answered;

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them all they can do is let themselves be loved.

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wound in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them”

“To learn that a rich person Is not one who has the most, But is one who needs the least”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply do not yet know how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

Thank you for your time, I said humbly. Is there anything else you like your children to know

God smiled and said,

“Just know that I am here ALWAYS.”

Author Unknown

One Week in August

Posted on 10. Oct, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Excerpts From My Journal

One Week in August;

The week that I started by reading  page 125 of Max Lucado’s Next Door Savior as my daily devotional. It posed the question of where God is in the midst of the storms and depressingly left me with an inspiration from the story shared at a certain Silecchia’s funeral; she was recently married and had an eighteen-month old baby.

The week that I stumbled on ‘the woman issue’, an old edition of Farafina Magazine and out of the many beautifully written pieces by some of the finest writers around here, “For the love of Anthony” jumped out at me. It’s the memoir of a grieving woman who lost a promising son in the 2005 London bombings.

The week that I got a depressing and dreadful call from my mother, Mr. Adeniyi, a family friend and my father’s former collegeaue had died from complications of surgery; his identical twins girls were my younger sister’s best friends in high school.

The week that I saw an announcement and a white donation box at the entrance of my Estate. Festus, the head of the estate security who had a fierce argument with my friends some days ago had died after a brief illness.

The week that I felt great pain in my heart as Pastor Eastwood shared with us how life has not been the same after he lost of his two adorable children on the same day in the same accident.

The week that I had visited one of my favorite gossip blogs in hope of reading the hottest gist in town but instead got the horrific news of the passing away of one of my favorite actresses, she lost the battle with lung cancer.

The week that I flipped from one local TV station to another until I got hooked on the controversial Emmanuel TV’s charity day, and I shed tears as I saw many children who came for help,  they were all orphans some blind, some cripple, some dumb , some mentally retarded.

That same week, I realized how ungrateful I have been for getting depressed and anxious because of my need for bigger, flashier, prettier and more expensive things.

I made a stop to my search for antidepressants for my incessant mood swings and low spirits, and made a solemn vow, to take a pause and enjoy life, to step back in order to see clearly, to love others with all my might. To enjoy where I am, on the way to where I am going.

The same week I started my iGiveThanks Journal

Writer – Shola Okubote

Recognizing Everyday Miracles

Posted on 28. Aug, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Believe!

Most people think of miracles as things that happened in Biblical times. Because we don’t take the time to look at the world around us. And, for some reason, when given a choice we look at life in a negative rather than a positive light.

We all go through challenging times. If we didn’t, there wouldn’t be much point to life. If you seize the moment, the greatest lessons come out of the biggest challenges. My response to hard times is to always give gratitude for what I have, where the alternative is to complain about what I don’t have. But in a really difficult stretch, it becomes harder to find things to have gratitude for.

I often end up feeling grateful for these especially hard times. You realize how many things you simply take for granted during the times when you have to dig deep to find something to be grateful for. When you just pause for a moment, and look at the world around you, it becomes clear that nearly everything is a miracle.

Or, if you’re like me and you have a 4 year old, you get daily reminders of the fact that everything’s a miracle. The only real answer I have for many of her constant questions lately is “it’s a miracle.”

I scraped my knee and she wants to know how your body heals itself. It’s a miracle.

We planted tiny little ugly brown seeds in an egg carton this spring. How do they grow into the beautiful flowers pictured on the seed package? It’s a miracle.

Why does the sun set? Miracle. Why does it snow in the spring? Miracle.

Why does my 9 month old cry when I leave the room? Another miracle.

Of course there are complex scientific explanations for most of these things, which doesn’t make them any less a miracle.

With millions of people in the world, how do we meet the love of our life? How do we find a friend that knows just what to say at just the right time? How are we able to go on after the death of a parent, or worse yet, a child? How can a dog enable a blind man to live as though he were sighted? Why does chocolate taste SO good?

Well, I could go on, but hopefully you get the point, because most people don’t get the point. And if you’re not “into” self improvement and personal growth, you may never stop long enough to realize the point. Life is so full and so challenging and so hectic, that it’s frighteningly easy to miss the fact that miracles are everywhere and in everything.

It matters how you see the world and it matters how you tell the story. This is the key to self improvement without changing anything other than your perception of the world. Just open your eyes up to the miracles around you.

If someone asked me how my day was, for example, I could respond by telling them that it was a miserably cold and rainy day, and all my kids were tired from staying up too late, and getting everyone up and dressed to take my daughter to school was a real struggle.

Or I could tell them how much fun we had staying up late the night before roasting marshmallows over the fire, and how my daughter sang a beautiful rendition of twinkle, twinkle little star to my baby that morning to keep him from being fussy. And I could laugh about how my 2 year old ran around the house in my high heels that morning as I tried to chase him down and get his shoes on him. And I could share how much fun my daughter had at school stomping in the mud puddles and finding the post-rain worms wriggling on the sidewalk. I could marvel at the rainbow.

It’s up to me. I can’t control my kids’ moods. I can’t control the weather. But I do control how I view the world. And how I tell the story, even if only to myself in my own head. I can see life as a miracle or as a struggle.

Why does it matter? The short answer is that part of the goal of self improvement is to be happy. And being happy just for the sake of being happy is a good thing. But it goes deeper than that. Recognizing life’s miracles is essential to your home business success. I’ll share why in my next article.

Writer: Jennifer Herndon works from home with her kids. She has lived the joys of home business ownership for over 11 years. Read more on the connection between mindset and home business success now at Jennifer’s Work at Home Millionaire Journey blog.