If Your Hair is Not Red…….
Posted on 24. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in iStyle
This is the Femme Lounge Fashion Patrol and we are on the prowl…. Come out with your garish lemon purses up and put your hot pink suede wedges down. You are under arrest for making those horrid fashion mistakes…. Every thing you wear will be noted and discussed!
We have all made those fashion mistakes before at some point in time… “I used to have this horrid velvet blouse….” but Femme Lounge is here now to make sure you don’t get the fashion patrol arresting you again. Here are some tips, dos, don’ts and never nevers….
- If your hair is not red, your eyebrows have no business being red. And when I say red I am not referring to your weave, I am referring to your natural hair. So ditch your red eyebrow pencils – which I suspect are really lip liners, and go for dark brown. Get your eye brows trimmed to the natural line of your brow (that gives you a normal facial expression rather than a perpetually surprised look) and then fill them in with brown pencil as necessary – bushy eyebrows are not a crime… they are rather in, on the fashion scene now… as long as they are controlled.
- You can’t wear rings on all your fingers… no not even on four fingers! You only end up looking like a sad English pensioner or an “owambe gutter mama”… you are not either of those things, so leave most of your jewellery in your jewellery box. Never more than two ringed fingers per hand!
- Animal prints are lovely…. I know…. They are hawt and so cool… I know… but you can’t wear them from head to toe! In fact just like the colour red, try not to wear more than two pieces – your shoes and bag, or your shoes and blouse… you get? You can’t wear animal print shoes, bag, blouse and skirt… that is not accessorising that is a fashion nightmare!
- On the delicate issue of what to show, so you wanna be hawt and have the boys drooling? Don’t blame me for the outcome though – okay so you want to show flesh…. The rule is – “show one” you are either showing cleavage or legs… not both… that is “if your skirt is short, your blouse can’t be low. Otherwise you become “here comes the slut”. And if your blouse is low, then everything else is covered… capish?
- Get rid of that “weave” on your head. I know how expensive “Bobbys” and “Make me” are; they cost an arm and a leg. Even the corner hairdresser has woken up and charges good money. I know you spent hours in the salon getting it done all pretty…. I know. But… that’s no excuse to wear them for 3 months… apart from the fact that they stink to high heavens, you are ruining your hair and calling on the demons of dandruff to dwell with you. So take them off, give your hair a good wash and steaming and do something else to your hair…. Weaves day in day out are not right…. They are just not….and you shouldn’t wear them for more than 6 weeks… no matter how nice they still look!
- And then for the one that steals the spotlight – wear the right bra…. The number of women I see wearing the wrong bra just leaves me tired and in despair. Wearing the wrong bra size spoils the looks of your expensive clothes and destroys your whole look. Some people tell me their bra size and just looking at them I know they are wrong…. Seriously…
So to make your life and mine easier, I have inserted a link here to a reliable bra size calculator
http://www.bettyandbelle.co.uk/bra-size-calculator-14-w.asp
or
http://www.knowmysize.net/BraSizeCalculator.aspx
Get a tape rule, do the measurements, enter it here and voila you know your bra size – you can now ditch that bra that rides up your back and the ones that have you spilling over the top and give you four boobs instead of two.
Now don’t let me catch you breaking the rules…
Your Fashion Patrol
Ronke Eni Akinboye
Folawe Banigbe
Posted on 23. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in She
Pregnancy and You Magazine is Nigeria’s first insightful lifestyle magazine for expectant mothers and their unborn child, and is fast becoming a must have for expectant and nursing mothers. Femme Lounge had an interesting chat with Folawe Banigbe, the enterprising young woman behind the trail blazing magazine.
Your professional and educational background?
I grew up in the city of Ibadan, Oyo State Nigeria where i had my preliminary education and high school. I obtained a Bachelor’s Degree in Biochemistry at the University of Ado Ekiti, Ekiti state Nigeria. I also have a Diploma in Event Management Training at Event Management Training School UK, an affiliate of the University of London. I also trained as a makeup artist from New York certified expert; I delved into confectionery, designs and so on. I believe all this happened because of the diverse passion i had as a young lady and that my love for creative art was very intense. I have done a lot of creative writing ever since i was a young girl and my profound interest in the body anatomy hooked me to the medical line, though i did not really consider studying medicine besides the fact that my parents fantasized about me being the doctor of the family.
Your family life?
My parents are both from Ogun state, Nigeria. I was born into a large but very interesting family. My father is an educated man, who availed his kids of facilities that built unique interests in us from childhood. We had a standard library in the house and my father also made us a laboratory in case one of his children would become inventors in the future! I am married to Obafemi Banigbe, a Telecommunications Professional and a pioneer of Leadership Forums and mentoring programs for youths across Africa. We are blessed with a boy and a girl, Imisioluwa and Ayanfeoluwa respectively.
What is Pregnancy and You all about?
Pregnancy and You Magazine was born out of the fact that we had a dearth of such in our country. After i had my first pregnancy and i experienced the whole process, i felt there is definitely more to pregnancy than just waking up one day and finding out you are pregnant without knowing what to expect. I also figured that the average woman would get prepared for everything such as weddings and all in her life but pregnancy and that was depriving them of a lot of fun that pregnancy could turn out to be if they could just know what they are getting into.Pregnancy and You magazine came on the scene, introducing new levels of excellence and support for women as they prepare for their bundle of joy. Pregnancy and You is much more than a pregnancy title – it’s a celebration of family lifestyle. The features in Pregnancy and You are refreshing, thought-provoking and challenging, covering a range of topical and worldwide issues. Pregnancy and You is the ultimate glossy lifestyle magazine read by upwardly mobile women and their partners.
What inspired it?
November, 2005. I had just gotten married; I was ovulating my wedding night. Two weeks into our long fantasized honeymoon, i started misbehaving. I did not want my husband to touch me; the cologne we had both picked at a mall in Dubai was so irritating i begged him to stop using it. My poor husband thought he had done something wrong; i did know how to explain the sudden irritation i started to feel. A couple of days later, i missed my period and we were not even back from the honeymoon yet! Christmas and New Year was terrible. I started throwing up so much; i was hospitalized a couple of times. You can imagine we were newlyweds who had not had a chance to live together as two love birds and i was already ‘messing’ up! After the first trimester, when i could manage to put a smile on my face and swallow spit after 4 months, i started making research. I read so many books and asked a lot of questions from my ob/gyn, we became such good friends afterwards. Amongst my friends and family, i had been known as the ‘uncertified doctor’ and i remember being asked questions about ovulation, safe period and all other things even before i was married. I thought it would be a fantastic idea to start a soft sell on pregnancy and parenting and at the time i was in the uk so i made a lot of research based on magazine publication, designing and printing and we kicked off ever since.
What do you hope to achieve with it?
Pregnancy and You is aimed at creating such awareness about pregnancy and parenting across Africa. It is basically a platform that has been made available to give the African woman a voice and also we hope to effect changes on policies that does not favour the African woman in different spheres such as the corporate environment and the society at large. We intend to build a network of the African mothers across the continent; women from different backgrounds and culture that pregnancy and you has brought together.
How has been the response from readers?
We have had such encouraging and awesome response right from the time we made reservation cards for people before the first edition of the magazine was published. We have built a subscriber base of about 4,000. Our average readership statistics at each release of the quarterly published magazine is about 25,000 across and beyond Nigeria. We get lots of mails everyday from women and men about how interesting and helpful the magazine has been and how proud they are of the publication. And is has just started.
What has been your challenge?
Hmm, well i have learnt at a stage in my life that my challenges are spring boards that launches me into the future, and so it will be a bit difficult to state what i would regard as a challenge; financial capital, getting the right expertise, setbacks and amongst others are part of the package and when things really get tough, i remind myself that they are all “symptoms of greatness” like i believe God revealed to me at a particular time and then i shrug off the situation and there comes a fresh energy to make things happen.
Your most fulfilling moment on this journey.
Hmm, it would be a bit difficult; i have found fulfilling moments from awesome feedbacks and calls i get every now and then about how relevant and helpful the magazine had been. One of the most inspiring was a woman who called that she decided to change her hospital for a better one after she read a particular article in the magazine and she realized that she deserves to be treated better than she was being treated at her previous medical center. It dawned on me at the time, that we have taken such responsibility on ourselves as a publication to look out for our mothers.
Most successful women have had to climb on the shoulders of others to have a clearer view of the road ahead them, who are your own mentors?
I have had a mentor for every stage of my life and journey but at this stage i would say that my mentor is my husband. My spiritual parents and mentors for a long time are Rev&Rev Mrs. Albert Femi Oduwole. However, since they handed me over to my husband, he has been my mentor and coach. I have since adopted his lifestyle and learnt a lot from him. His views and approach to life have become mine and he is the only mentor i follow so closely; very closely. (laugh) (obvious innit..lol)
Your greatest strengths and skills that has been particularly been of help in achieving this.
One of my greatest strengths that had kept me going is persistence. I do not take ‘no’ for answer and when i see a new reason to make things happen, i move in on it. My writing skills have also been handy and my strong desire to get the publications into every woman’s’ hands.
What significant life lessons have you learnt on this journey?
That you can achieve your greatest dreams with not as much hard work as you thought. You just need to be smart and consistent.
What do you think are the success essentials for today’s young women?
Discover your passion and what ‘makes you tick’ and then do not be scared of exploring it. The moment you set the ball rolling, you have started to succeed already.
Where and how can we know more about your work?
Website: www.pregnancyandyou.org
Facebook: PREGNANCY AND YOU GROUP AND ask-a-mom
Email: publisher@pregnancyandyou.org
Our office address: 12,Aba Johnson Crescent. Adeniyi Jones. Ikeja. Lagos.
Bed Wetting at 30!
Posted on 23. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Healthwise
If children feel embarrassed when they wet their beds, imagine what it is like for an adult who does. Yet there are adults who experts say probably number in the millions, who are bed-wetters. Because of their problem, they often live in constant fear of embarrassment, afraid to share their beds and rooms with loved ones and guests.
For those adults, bedtime is not as simple as ABC; it is in fact another time of dread and a reminder of a problem most people have outgrown at an earlier age.
For 30 year old Ogechi, who suddenly started bed wetting as a teenager, it has been a devasting nightmare, she wakes up each morning hoping to see dryness and words can’t express how what she experiences affects her social and emotional life.
She says, “I constantly think that I am a “blemished piece” because I have often been rejected and mocked by people around me. It’s been hard to keep a relationship with a guy, who wants to go to bed with a bed wetter? I have never known what it means to be self confident; it affects my self esteem and all areas of my life.
I have visited so many doctors, even a psychiatric and psychologist; they have all suggested different reasons that could be responsible for the condition. Ranging from emotional trauma I faced as a child, to my deep sleep pattern, and environmental allergies. And someone actually had the guts to suggest that I wet my bed because I was lazy to go to the toilet at night!
There has been lots of improvement over the years but I still look forward to when I will never have to worry about waking up wet anymore”.
There are several medications and medical conditions which can cause adult bed wetting. Fortunately, there are aids and treatments that can minimize the incidence and impact of bed wetting in adults.
Please see more guide on the causes and treatment of adult bed wetting at
http://www.nafc.org/bladder-bowel-health/bedwetting-2/adult-bedwetting/
Are You Having an Emotional Affair?
Posted on 15. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Connections
Kate meet James when she joined a new Accounting Firm two years ago, James was her supervisor and the first time they met, he actually struck her as a bit shy and withdrawn. But a few months into their working relationship, something changed. James started warming up to her with special attention; she warmed up to him too. Soon their conversations turned from work related issues to easy banter about everything personal and later it became flirtation. They shared many similar things in common, and they soon became inseparable.
She convinced herself that she wasn’t doing anything wrong; after all they were not having sex. And couldn’t she have a friend who happened to be male? She also told her husband about him, even sharing when they would meet for lunch. Her husband, who is very busy with a demanding job and hardly spends enough time at home, trusted her completely and didn’t raise an eyebrow.
In the midst of working full time and caring for her two children, e-mailing and talking with James felt like an innocent escape. James was always a call away to encourage her and guide her through difficult times; they spend hours talking on the phone and chatting on the internet. She increasingly found herself sharing more and more of her goals and dreams with James and was withdrawing from her husband more and more. Her conversation with her husband became very casual and it became only about the children and general issues.
She started looking forward to her regular interactions with James in a way that was all too consuming, and never missed her husband when he wasn’t around. It was James not her husband who was beginning to fill a key emotional need in her life. She was having an emotional affair.
Emotional infidelity often starts when you share intimate details of your life with someone else apart from your partner. The person probably make you feel good and special and you like the feeling of affection you have when you are with them, you then begin to put the bulk of your emotions into the person’s hands.
The signs of an emotional infidelity may be more subtle than those of a sexual infidelity, and even if you never so much as touch him, this emotional attachment has just as much potential as a sexual fling to damage your relationship. When you save up your innermost thoughts, and interesting personal experiences to be spilled to the other guy instead of your spouse then you are doing your relationship harm and it’s not fair to your partner.
According to a relationship expert, emotional affairs are happening more often because so many of us feel emotionally isolated, Whether it’s because of our demanding jobs or the hours we spend on the Internet instead of with our families, friends, and communities, we’ve become increasingly distanced both physically and emotionally from other people, including our spouses. And when we’re not regularly sharing our lives and feelings with those close to us, we ultimately begin to fill their space with someone else.
To avoid emotional affair it’s important to keeping members of the opposite sex out of your intimate life, find polite ways to stop your discussions from being too personal or intimate. Emotional affairs begin with personal discussions, and grow more intimate as time goes on.
Also, avoid regular, ongoing personal conversations with one particular person and watch who you talk to make sure you are not making deep emotional investments with the inappropriate person. It’s important to know that friendship with the opposite sex can become a problem when it becomes a replacement for a marriage, and also be careful of seemingly innocent actions such as dancing, kissing, or hugging members of the opposite sex
Be honest with yourself if you’re attracted to someone outside your marriage, be honest about the potential for an emotional affair and do something to stop it before it grows out of hand.
Emotional infidelity is rarely planned; it often arises from innocent friendships that went too far, that became too intimate.
OUR FAULTS – OTHERS' DOING
Posted on 15. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Believe!
Imagine this:
You leave your apartment in the morning for a trip downtown. You are wearing your most fashionable outfit, favorite perfume, you are looking like a billion dollars and you go to catch a bus. As you hurry out through your back door, you pick a small sack of garbage in the kitchen with the intention of tossing it in the rubbish container on the road on your way to catch your bus. But you get so preoccupied with your thoughts and forget to toss the garbage. So you carry it along with your other packages onto the bus.
As you take your seat, you percieve this terrible stench. You opened the window, to no avail. Later, through out the day, you notice this stench is in every store you visited.
As human, forgetting about the garbage, we would have concluded……… The whole world stinks! chei.
Only to return home and open your packages, and realize you are the chief supplier of the worlds’ stench.
Summary: Before you begin to point that your ever correct finger at other people, it would be smart to check out your own packages first. The ‘stink’ you smell may not be from others – it may be your own!
Jesus had this to say about judging other people: “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults-unless, of course, you want the same treatment.
That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging (Matthew 7:1-2), Jesus was right.
Always and always make sure you have taken out your stinking garbage first before you begin to criticize the garbage of those around you.
Writer- Tunbosun Oke
The Secret Life of a Fashionista!
Posted on 15. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in iStyle
Beauty, Confidence, Attraction and Approval, were few of the factors that motivated my decisions of what to wear or not to wear, I considered other people’s opinion and perception important when it comes to what I wear and how I look. I wanted to be seen as someone that is trendy and fashion savvy.
I once tried going the skimpy route as a teenager, for the love of seeing heads turn when I pass by, then I also did the pink lipstick for a signature look, sometimes I still do super high heels for an extra dose of confidence, and I often go for dark colors to hide a few pounds around my waistline.
The trendy outcome of my careful and conscious selections would always earn me compliments from other people, I loved the compliments that came with being fashionable but despised the ache of keeping it all together, I wished I had chosen comfort ahead all the other motivating factors. But like they say, being fashionable comes with sacrifice; I had to learn how to smile in pains, I would do anything for the perfect chic look.
So I would tie Gele, though it felt like a bucket full of water on my head, caused my scalp to itch and slowed me down from having fun at parties.
I would wear a svelte and sexy dress though it’s tight and restrictive, so super-figure-hugging-tight that you couldn’t visit the lavatory in it!
And for a complete chic look, I would fix acrylic nails, but no one would see me when I nursed my hurting fingers after scrubbing the bathtub, doing the dishes and washing clothes.
I would also let loose my 14″ Sensational Pro-10 Fresh Wave like Brandy, although unlike her, I live in a temperate region, and I do not have the luxury of being in a 24 hour air-conditioned apartment when the weather feels like its dripping hell.
For an elegant look, I always chose a super high heel. Yet, I carried flat slippers all around in my handbag; waiting for people to take their eyes away from me so I could yank off the shoes and slip into my comfy slippers.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the rat race of being the latest, hottest, and trendiest, forgetting that fashion is not only about how I look but also what is comfortable. Why should I have to be uncomfortable in whatever I wear? It’s like torture!
If fashion really comes with sacrifice, then such sacrifice is: For whom? To what end? And at what cost?
I saw clips of “Secret Lives of Moms” on Oprah recently. She had a group of women who boldly broke their silence about motherhood, spilling the beans about not only the good side, but the bad and ugly sides of motherhood – the sides no one talked about for fear of being judged.
I wish we could have something similar, but this time it won’t be about mothers, it should be called “Secret Lives of Fashionistas – A Sisterhood of Fashionable Women”. Where there will be no holds barred, and women can reveal the exhausting, confusing, infuriating side of being fashionable without fear of being tagged ’fashion laid backs’ or ‘fashion challenged’. I am sure we will uncover a can of worms beneath the pretty faces and hip looks.
I have decided that when it comes to how I look, I will be more focused on defining my own style, what suits me and gives expression to who I am , trying to keep it all tight and high like the fashion world sometimes depicts it, takes me away from my comfort zones. That doesn’t mean that I won’t put care into my appearance, of course I will always dress appropriately and stylishly, I won’t wear a flip flop to office on a Monday morning in the name of comfort, and I also won’t wear a high heel shoe to hang out with friends on a Sunday evening for fashion sakes!
To look nice, I have to be comfortable and not tugging at my clothes and feeling all weird cause my outfit is uncomfortable as hell. If it’s not comfortable, it affects my countenance, and puts me in an unproductive mood, then how can I enjoy the moment?
Comfort shouldn’t have to take a back seat to fashion; in fact it should be one of the words that describe fashion, because you can definitely be stylish and comfortable. We don’t have to be stuck in the Victorian Times; we now live in the Michellean era, when we can dress for the occasion and yet be comfortable in our own style. That is what I now aim for, the stylish look that is effortless, and someday I will get there. Yes, someday.
8 Ways To Make Money This Christmas
Posted on 08. Nov, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Life @ Work
Christmas Moonlighting
Get your dictionary and look for the meaning of the word…. moonlighting.
Ok, now you know.
When I think of Christmas, I think parties, functions and holidays! But for a business owner, Christmas and the opportunities that arise at that time of the year should mean much, much more. We all know that Christmas is fun, but have you ever thought of using it as an opportunity to improve your business and its many relationships
Christmas means different thing to different people, it’s a period of family reunion, a time of celebration. Now is also the time to bring out my contact list and renew my friendship, maybe do a business or two.
While we are trying to get all the excitement out of Christmas, wouldn’t it be a good time to moonlight? Here are few moonlighting options I would like to share;
- Delivery Business: Remember that Xmas is a time for gift exchange. Remembering that, the world is global, where people work and live in different places. For individuals travelling, and would like to get gifts for their faraway friend. Why don’t you be the channel there and make some money, if even it would just be buying you a pair of shoe. I bet you will wear it with pride because you worked and earned it. In Nigeria, delivery business is very convenient, though you need be careful and make sure you inspect all the items that your customer wants delivered to be sure, you aren’t passing across contrabands. You can walk on to any registered transport business, and send it through them. Have a contact at the other end that would help you dispatch and deliver these gifts.
- Decorating Business: you would say, there are 1001 decorating company out there, this is Christmas, the month is over-saturated with celebrations, and you would have more than enough to do. Even if you don’t feel up to large scale decorating, how about home decorating for individuals that would be working into the yuletide season. You just need to ask, to get. Ask people around you if they would need help with their home decoration.
- Christmas tree decoration: It sounds not too different, but it is. Individuals would prefer if they have well decorated Xmas tree. Put your thinking cap on; bring some Christmas tree to life.
- Cuisine/Sweet Tooth ideas: I don’t mean jollof rice and chicken, every home would be cooking that. Do you know how to make cookies, fish fingers, rolls, flavored yoghurt, cakes, fruit platter, Chinese meals, and kebab? Put them in fanciful Xmas bags, take it to your church, offices, friends and sell.
- Gift Ideas (Knitting, Paper painting, customized cards): You don’t have to be an artist to pull this one. Get the business, meet the artist and deliver the products. Customized items would be hot on the list of most businesses now. If you can knit, now is the time to do simple but beautiful handcraft jobs for the festive season.
- Ice Supply: Now this might be for the limited few with the means of having uninterrupted power supply and a big freezer. A party usually means chilled drinks. Put your freezer to good use, make the water clean, and sit in your house, let the money walk to you.
- Party ushering: Most event planning and management business would have their hands full this season. Why not give a bit of your time, good opportunity to attend a party, network and make new friends. Be an usher at a party.
- After Party Clean up: Festive season brings with it a lot of waste, and that aspect of events is usually overlooked. Talk to event organizers today and make your proposition of cleaning after each of their events. Get a handful of young chaps to help you. Earn cool money Why not think about making use of your rickety car, hiring a pick up van for the season, go and clean after every party. A good opportunity to meet people too, you get invited to parties.
Now beware, am sure you are seeing possibilities in all this activities, but there are certain crime you must never commit at Christmas, Business disappointment at Christmas are the most difficult to forget, because it poses the most embarrassing moments to your customers. You must stick to your word and deliver promptly
You must be timely
You must be beautiful. Nobody would give you a job to do if you look dirty or unkempt. This is Christmas!!!
You must be really creative. You must do it excellently. For all your proposed job ideas, you have to be very unique at it, put some creativity into your business. Stand out. Leave a good impression; get the job all year round…. Who knows?
While you are in this money making, fun catching season, remember the reason of Christmas. Christ gave up his life, for us to have life; He became sin, for us to be purged of our sin. Why not join in his kingdom and experience the joy that comes with giving. Give your life to Christ and give a meaningful gift to someone in need.
Other moonlighting ideas welcome.
Writer: Tunbosun Oke
