A Mystery Jigsaw & God’s Grand Design
Posted on 10. Jul, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Essence
A total of 22 hours over 5 days spent on a jigsaw puzzle really does not seem like a good use of anyone’s time. But that’s mostly what I did between Christmas and New Year.
‘Drama at the Opera’ was a Christmas present from last year. However, I had an extremely busy year, so I decided to work on the 1,000 piece puzzle over the Christmas period. It literally left me with little time for anything else. A typical day has been – wake up at 11:30am; jigsaw, food and TV until 7:00pm ish; socialise/party until 2am; jigsaw till 6:00am; sleep until 11:30am.
So it was imperative that I could justify those precious hours spent on a jigsaw puzzle of all things.
But as I put the pieces together, I also began to see loads of parallels between my puzzle and God’s grand design. 10 lessons emerged from this process and related to a number of scriptures I already knew. I would like to share these 10 principles with you.
I won’t list the scriptures as there are literally 100s of verses I could use, but I pray that you see God’s grand design for humanity and specifically for your life as you read through.
Remember, that whilst you list your New Year resolutions, goals and missions. God is poring over the jigsaw of life. He cares for each piece, He is never late, He knows what is best for you and has the whole host of heaven, Jesus and the Holy Spirit working tirelessly to ensure that everything works out for your good according to His divine purpose.
Enjoy!.
Ten lessons from my jigsaw puzzle
1. Each piece was equally important – from the first piece on the table, to the last piece used, I knew that each piece mattered. Even if I didn’t need it on day one, I would certainly need it sometime.
2. Each piece was unique – A number of pieces were similar in shape or colour, but when it came to completing the puzzle. Only one piece was perfect for a specific position.
3. Each piece had a particular role to play – The jigsaw told a story and each piece was part of that story. There was no story if there were no pieces.
4. Each piece played a key role in determining the place of other pieces – I put a piece down, and suddenly I knew where four other pieces fitted in.
5. Each piece was required – A few pieces did not seem to make sense. I could not immediately see how they fitted. I did not discard them, I knew I would need them sometime.
6. Each piece was irreplaceable – even the white pieces with no obvious background or detail had value.
7. Even if only a single piece was missing, the jigsaw was not complete; didn’t matter that I had 999 pieces in place – actually I have 3 pieces missing, and I have spent 3 hours looking for them. In my mind the jigsaw puzzle is incomplete and will remain on the table until I find those three pieces.
8. Each piece had my complete focus – when I picked up a piece to determine its position, it had my complete focus. I had the big picture in my head, but that piece at that time made up my entire concentration.
9. Each piece was part of a bigger important design – I slept most mornings, visualizing the puzzle in my head, woke up thinking about it, knowing that it had to be completed or it should not have been started in the first place.
10. It was good – I experienced a strong satisfaction in knowing that I put every piece in its right position and that the finished design was what I started out to achieve. I took pleasure in it. It was finished and it was good.
May God complete His good work in you.
Last words: A plea: please do not buy me a jigsaw puzzle under any circumstances. 22 hours is a lot of hours; I know; I currently have bills pending, no cooked food, no shopping. Nada!.
Writer: Keno Ogbo
Photo Credit: Jupiterimages
Are Men Happier Than Women?
Posted on 14. Mar, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Essence
The modern woman is increasingly having a decision-making power of her own with more access to needed resources and a range of options from which she can make choices. She exercises assertiveness rather than passiveness and has developed confidence in her own capacities for independence. She is glamorous, in control and yet maternal, juggling the acts of raising children, holding down a job and sustaining a relationship.
We are fast approaching the day that women rights activists and feminists have been dreaming about and fighting for, the day when women all over the world can be given opportunities to achieve their dreams without any form of cultural, societal or religious restraints.
Whether the day will ever come or not, we really don’t know, but what we do know for sure is that we are closer to it than ever before. Now, that is a huge success and should be good news, except for the recent concerns that our progress might be opening a new gender gap!
Women Empowerment as we knew it might be increasingly having new meanings to the modern woman, while our mothers’ generation’s major contention was against marginalization at home, at work and in the society at large, it seems the monster we will have to contend with is even bigger and uglier. Unlike them also, we might be making lesser demands for our rights from the men folk and the government, and for the first time in the history of women’s rights advocacy, we would have to turn to ourselves for the answer to the question we ask.
The increased opportunities to succeed in many ways for women may be bringing new challenges right to their doorsteps. With greater ambition, fiercer competition and an unending to do list, they now have a higher standard to evaluate themselves by. Measuring up to every inch of that standard is however not without consequences.
“The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness,” a controversial study conducted by Wharton Academics Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers, has suggested that the new pursuit for women might be bigger than their fight against inequality and discrimination, that women are now confronted with a challenge of finding happiness in the midst of all their victories. Other Researchers are also showing that as it turns out, the closing gap in social and economic inequalities between men and women has a directly proportional influence on the happiness and well being of modern women.
This intriguing and unsettling study is suggesting that a new gender gap is emerging, one in which men are absolutely more contented and happier than women.
Is it true that the more women achieve, the more they seem aggrieved? Are we biting more than we can chew, or just haven’t learnt how to grind well enough for us to be able to swallow with ease?
With women’s increasing accomplishments and tremendous prospect in various endeavors, how could they be unhappy? If they are really unhappy, from whom would they demand their right to happiness?
Truth be told, women today are not living in the happiest of times; they have much more to worry about than their mothers did when they were their age! The talk on layoffs, increased crime rate, slowdowns in the economy, red alerts on terrorism and all their kinds, leaves them financially insecure, stressed out and tired, as they juggle jobs and families. They are overwhelmed by huge responsibilities and have to make informed decisions daily.
Like a bully that has been dared, it seems, unhappiness wants to lock us into a prison. We have demanded respect and equality from the society, but from whom would we demand a release from unhappiness other than ourselves.
Now you tell us, are men happier than women?
Source – Femme Library
29 Things You Should Do This Year!
Posted on 05. Jan, 2010 by Lounge Lady in Essence
This Year, forget huge easy-to-break New Year’s resolutions and think about small steps toward a more well-rounded you. Maybe what you need isn’t the drastic change you’ve always planned for, but finding meaning in seemingly insignificant activities that can instill freshness into your hectic and nerve-racking lifestyle.
Focus on these priceless moments with immense passion and have a new perspective to life. Some of them will need planning, others will only take a few hours out of your day, but at the end of the year, when you look back at all you’ve accomplished, it will be worth it.
29. Attend a funeral. It has a way of reminding us that life in finite, and tells us we should treasure every moment we have on earth.
28. Bath under a waterfall, climb a mountain, or drive through a game reserve. Whatever you do make sure you see nature at its best, like you have never done before.
27. Be the answer to someone’s prayer and a solution to someone’s problem. Guide the lost stranger, feed the poor, teach the ignorant, serve a sick person breakfast in bed, and maybe give your maid a day off.
26. Do you have a favorite author, designer, actor or musician? Write a fan letter to all your favorites and send it to them. Some will get it, some never will.
25. Face your Fears. If you hate crowd then by all means go to a stadium, if you are afraid of having all eyes on you then go to sing at a karaoke bar, and if you are afraid of teddy bears, go to bed with twenty! You will discover that Fear is really what it is – False Evidence Appearing Real!
24. Find a reason to throw a party and invite everyone you really want to be there, it could be to celebrate your birthday, or even your break up, or just because it’s another Friday! Have fun being celebrated.
23. Find your passion and be involved in a cause. Donate your time, money or even blood. Volunteer with organizations working in that field and help spread the word too.
22. Forgive someone. Make a deliberate decision to forgive someone that had hurt you in the past, let go of your pain and bitterness, whether the person is sober or not.
21. Have a junk food day! Spend a whole day eating all the junk food you love without feeling guilty.
20. Keep a gratitude journal. Don’t be carried away by your never ending to do lists. Take time out to count your blessings and be grateful to life for every progress you make
19. Learn not to say yes when you what you want to say is really no. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
18. Learn something new. Salsa dance, how to make apple pie or even how to speak Spanish. Add a new knowledge to yourself and meet other people who share the same interest.
17. Love yourself, Love others too. Don’t hold back all you can give and be to yourself and to others. Love without fear.
16. Listen to elderly people’s story of what life was like when they were younger; let them tell you about their regrets and victories, and what they would do differently if they have a new shot at life.
15. Make a collection of everything you love in a scrap book. Insert picture of your favorite actress, your favorite chocolate wrapper, a ribbon from your old sexy lingerie and even your favorite bible passage.
14. Make a list of all those who have touched your live positively and you will be really surprised how long the list could be. Send them a mail, a text or postcards to appreciate them.
13. Make friends with children, learn to communicate with them and understand what makes them tick. Experience what life is like in their world of possibilities.
12. Make new friends and stay in touch with old ones. Get connected with a childhood friend that you haven’t seen in a long time and visit her.
11. Plant a flower or vegetable, in a garden, at your backyard or in a jar. Nurse it and watch how it changes from a seedling to a full grown plant.
10. Put on your best clothes, have a makeup done on you and have a photo shoot. You know how you admire models in magazines and try out different poses in front of a mirror? Now go do it without inhibitions, express yourself before a camera.
9. Reflect on your greatest weakness, and your greatest strength and how they can make you a better person.
8. Re-visit your favorite childhood books, movies and music. What really made you tick when you were younger?
7. Send a message to an unknown person. Write something, put it in a bottle, close it and throw it in the ocean, hoping someone, someday will get it.
6.Sleep under the stars. When was the last time you look at the sky and marvel at the beauty? Spend a night looking at the stars and sleep off while admiring the sky.
5. So what if you get lost? You will find you way again! Throw the map out and go on a drive in an area near you that you don’t know well, explore the area and figure out how it’s all connected till you find your way again.
4. Spend a day at the beach with your loved ones. Run, swim, eat, laugh and build an elaborate sand castle.
3. Spice up your sexual life. Take a break from the old routines. Try out new and daring things in your sexual life.
2. Take a vacation from the world. Switch off your phones, log off the internet, and spend time alone with yourself doing the things you love.
1. Talk to God. You might not fully understand the role He plays in your life, or what He really expects from you, maybe it’s time to unravel the mystery, talk to Him and listen to Him.
Written by Shola Okubote. First Published by Naija Times , January 2010
40 Things You Should Never Apologize For!
Posted on 27. Aug, 2009 by Lounge Lady in Essence
1) Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if you need to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across country, always do what you really want.
2) Never apologize for using proper English. Keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to speak Ebonics…
3) Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just didn’t work out.
4) Never apologize for crying. Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.
5) Never apologize for being successful. Only haters want to keep you at their level.
6) Never apologize for ten pounds you need to lose. People who truly care about you will accept you as you are.
7) Never apologize for wearing a weave or braids; it’s an accessory, you bought it so it’s yours.
8.) Never apologize for being frugal. Just because you save your money instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency doesn’t mean you’re cheap.
9) Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. Sometimes you have to show you some appreciation.
10) Never apologize for demanding respect. You are to always be treated as a Queen.
11) Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship. Your safety should always be a priority.
12) Never apologize for making a decision from your heart, even if others don’t agree YOU have to live with the consequences, not them.
13) Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship. You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.
14) Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because you found Mr. Right across the color line doesn’t mean you don’t love your Brothers.
15) Never apologize to your new friends about old friends. There’s a reason she’s been your girl from day one.
16) Never apologize to your old friends about ‘new’ friends; God continues to bring His daughters together to uplift each other.
17) Never apologize for being a single Mom. Babies are a blessing.
18) Never apologize for saying NO
19) Never apologize for looking beautiful. You are beautiful.
20) Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you can’t burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out. (Right Girl!)
21) Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work hard and you deserve to get paid.
22) Never apologize for changing your mind. It’s your prerogative.
23) Never apologize for someone else’s Bad Day: A friend snaps at you and you’re expected to say sorry? Exactly where is the logic in that?
24) Never apologize for being honest. People often say, “The truth hurts,” or “you can’t handle the truth,” or “you don’t really want to hear the truth.” The fact of the matter is everyone does WANT the truth.
25) Never apologize for being alone. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, relish in the opportunity to spoil and cherish yourself…to meet only your demands….to listen to only your requests….. And to tend to only your needs.
26) Never apologize to anyone for being single! Always remember just like God is working on you; He is also working on your mate and when the time is right you will meet!
27) Never apologize for being educated and behaving accordingly! Your mama didn’t raise a fool!
28) Never apologize for refusing to compromise your integrity. Always adhere to your moral and ethical principles.
29) Never apologize for not tolerating bad behavior, at home, in public, in the workplace…
30) Never apologize for taking a break. It’s more healthy and beneficial to literally stop every once in a while to breathe, to let your hair down, to relax, to rejuvenate. It’s necessary.
31) Never apologize for Investing in Your Looks. Its’ all about feeling confident, not about doing yourself up to land a man. And it makes facials, manicures, pedicures and the sauna worth every cent.
32) Never apologize for hoping your children will be Cuter than your Friends. Honestly, your pals are hoping the same thing.
33) Never apologize for being Inexperienced. That doesn’t mean you lack great ideas. So stop prefacing sentences like “…but I did not, I am not, I haven’t…’’ stick to what you’re training for or have been trained in and be proud!
34) Never apologize for having a Crazy Family: Give your guy & friends a heads up about them, but never insinuate that their problems taint you.
35) Never apologize for helping others. Be free, do what you want to do, not others, help happily where necessary, only mean people & haters will laugh at you and pull you back.
36) Never apologize for saying exactly how you feel, only if you have every reason and every right to feel that way. Respect and courtesy must always be present though.
37) Never apologize for the books you like to read (that’s if you’re a reader). You’re allowed to choose whatever kind of reading material you like. You’re an adult, and well aware of all the choices out there. If romance works for you, read them proudly. People don’t apologize for liking romantic comedies at the movies, or chick flicks. They like them. So what?
38) Never apologize for where you come from. There is a good reason as to why God meant for you to be born there, it doesn’t matter whether you’re from Asia, Africa, America we are all humans at the end of the day, no one was born in the moon anyway.
39) Never Apologize for Loving the Lord, for calling His Name, for Having Absolute Faith in Him, He’s your father, He’ll Light Your Path.
40) Never apologize for being YOU!
Almost forgot actually – (#40 something).. ”Never Apologise for having Common sense…” tone down those irrelevant sayings… please!
By – Sharon Renders, Jazmin Darmi and Karen Linet
