Editor's Blog
5 Infuriating Things About Kenechi Uzochukwu’s “Men Must Rape Something” Article.
By Shola Okubote
I promised not to get emotional about this but the truth is, it is hard not to get emotional when talking about rape. I have had a close shave with rape, and sometimes I imagine the effect it would have had on my life if I had not escaped it. So, yes I will be emotional about the nauseating piece written by Kenechi Uzochukwu on YNaija, (No, I won’t put a link to a sickening piece like that) that claims men must rape something.
Kenechi Uzochukwu made some deadly assumptions about men and rape; these assumptions are the brick stones that built the rape culture. And just when we think we are beginning to draw some attention to rape in Nigeria, he has reminded us of the misconceptions, ignorance and utter nonsensicality we are up against.
Here are some of the statements he made and my responses to them;
It would be far easier to stage a campaign to encourage decent dressing in women than to expect men to exercise self control.
For decades the society has given so much attention to the ‘how not to be a victim’ message to women. Has it reduced rape? No. Why? Because for as long as rapists walk away free and the victims get blamed, the crime will continue to be on a rise. It doesn’t matter what women do or don’t do, a rapist will always find a way to get his next victim if he is sure he will get away with it. The campaign against rape is not so much about preaching self-control to rapists like Kenechi assumes, it is also a campaign to have them severely punished for their crimes and taken off the streets!
Every provocation must be assuaged.
He assumes that men have no self control, and that they must have sex or rape something every time they see a woman’s body. There are so many tempting things we see every day like money displayed on bank counters or someone’s brand new car, is it then okay to go and steal them because we have been tempted? No, every provocation must not be assuaged.
Men do not know and will never know what it really means to be raped.
Men get raped too and not every man thinks that being raped either by another man or a woman is a pleasurable experience like the article suggests. Also, there are many men out there who fight against rape every day and they don’t have to experience it to do so.
Men must rape something. If not a woman or child, they will rape themselves.
This is one of the most meaningless things I have ever read about rape. No, men must not rape something, and there are millions of men who have never and will never rape something. The desire to have sex is not the same as the desire to rape something.
Rape is provoked. All crimes are triggered or provoked.
To say every crime is triggered or provoked is to blame victims of murder, robbery, fraud, rape, and all other crimes. Where is the sense in that? What will Kenechi say about rape in parts of the country where women cover themselves from head to toe? What will he say about the rape of children and old people? No, they are not casualties or collateral damages like he tried to explain, they are victims like every other rape victim is.
Rape is a crime but Mr Kenechi Uzochukwu just told rapists that it is in their DNA and there is nothing they can do about it.
Writer: Shola Okubote is the Editor of Femme Lounge and tweets as @femmelounge
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Tagged Kenechi Uzochukwu, Rape in Nigeria
ToinliciousJan 31, 2013 at 10:26 pm
God bless you! I have been so angry since I read that post
Israel Gold AjalaJan 31, 2013 at 11:16 pm
All these assertions are very untrue, weird, strange and unintelligible, absolute rubbish and non-sense , why bother listen to Mr Kenechi Uzochukwu, the act has to be done from the mind prior to doing it literally, sexual violation of any kind to anyone has nothing to do with provocative dressing, as long as their are men who not empathetic, emotionally intelligent, God fearing, morally sound, respectful, courteous, kind , graceful, humane , the issue of this ugly vice may unfortunately rare it ugly head time and again, we simply pray that the law and the populace catch up with every culprit prior to the act so that a deterrent may be set in motion to curtail this evil.
Myne WhitmanFeb 1, 2013 at 2:47 am
I like how you logically struck down each aspect of his argument. His article is really despicable.
OligbindeFeb 1, 2013 at 11:37 am
One thing is certain, this guy must have either commited the actual crime of rape or mentally carried out the action! This is for saying men MUST rape something! He just pointed a hand towards humself. So why should he not be one of the “men?” since he seems to be knowledgeable on this subject. I move a motion that the guy be researched and made a case study. I bet he has either raped his sisters, cousins, nieces, students, female friends, neighbours, girls, women AND HIMSELF! Hey, i’m just re-emphasizing his words!
Not all crimes are triggered or provoked! From the Legal side, a defence of provocation is not enough to be found unguilty; even at that, he must have been so provoked to the extent that a “mad” man couldn’t have controlled himself. Of our dear Kelechi does finally rapes (thats if he has not done that before) i will be glad to defend him on the ground of INSANITY! (after i’m called to bar of course!) and thats if we are able to prove he was actually insane as at the time he committed the “crime!”
i really and honestly SMH for any girl or lady who marries this man! I mean if a wife even tries to seduce her husband…is rape the next thing because he couldnt control himself? At this point, by rape i mean the point where she says “no!” Even if she started, i’m sure she would say no as soon as the man becomes “violent”
There have been cases where girls turn from participants of sexual intercourse to victims of rape.
Which brings us to the man’s state of mind! Exactly! It boils down to the rapist’s uncontrollable state of mind. As soon as the crime is committed, its no longer the case whether he was provoked, or that she was indecently dressed. (Women get raped because someone raped them! (Jessica Valenti….The Purity Myth))
If Mr kelechi happens to be reading this, please know that not all men lack self control. The desire for sex is an urge like any other carve for certain things like food, chocolate. It becomes an addiction when it can’t be controlled. Just as we don’t steal food because we are hungry, or a Banker doesn’t stael raw exposed cash because he sees it every second, the human mind is also strong enough not to steal sex!
The point where and when a man realises that the urge is getting powerful than himself, LET HIM GO FOR HELP!..spiritual,psychological or medical! But then, i bet My Kelechi won’t even advise that! He would rather men rape than admit they are WEAK!
debby baroFeb 1, 2013 at 12:52 pm
The man ‘kenechi’ must be investigated properly. Please, anyone who knows where he is should as a matter of emergency, take every child away from around him! He shld be checked for mental fitness and seperated from among normal people, because he has voiced out that he is sick in the mind- the worse that can affect a man.If his family members have heard this, pls take him for every kind of deliverance because something id terrible wrong!
Stani SlausFeb 2, 2013 at 11:36 pm
This guy kenechi is such an idiot….
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